A year ago I attempted suicide and would have been successful but my husband came in early
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I have struggled I think longer than even I realize with severe depression and have yet to grow a pair and get meds. You sound like one courageous cookie, I am all too familiar with the feeling of just wanting to end the pain forever. It might behoove you to try and find a free clinic in your area who may be able to help, and I have found that meditation and a healthy dose of music and exercise can relieve the symptoms for quite a while. It at least beats the many illegal drugs I used to use =P anyway, I how ypu get the medication you need, and don't forget about that husband of yours! All too often when I'm down I don't utilitize all the awesome support my significant other is willing to give me! Best wishes!!
I'm sure that makes you feel like becoming a "Dog Eat Dog" and "Look Out for Number One" type of person, Nancy. But don't do it. I'm sure you'll get through this just as I'm sure I will. And when you do get back on your feet, continue to let God's Love and Spirit of giving shine through you.
It seems I almost have I have spent all weekend reaching out to the many people ive helped in the past and is so disheartening to know that people just dont care and some u know have it readily available and are too scared of helping. I have family but they act like we have the plague. Why do people always turn their back on me. It hurts me deep inside and mentally leaves me a wreck.